T-425 days-9/18/12-I have cancer?!?

Standard

September 18th, 2012–D Day aka C Day

The day where my life moving forward was never going to be the same.  The day that I learned that I had cancer. The day that my phone rang from the doctor.  The day I had a student run to get an assistant for my class; I stepped into the copier room my heart racing.  The day the doctor said “You have breast cancer“, my heart stopped.  The day that I ran to the school office, broke down and said I can and will not go back in my class.  The day that I drove home needing windshield wipers for my eyes.  It was a day that didn’t seem real.  A bad dream.  How could I have breast cancer?  I run half marathons, I don’t eat meat, I eat organic foods, I live a healthy lifestyle, I’m only 38 years old.  It doesn’t make sense.  It’s doesn’t make sense.

FEAR.  Nothing has ever filled me with such fear.  So many questions. So many unknowns.  Is it bad? Has it overtaken my body? What is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to my kids?  MY KIDS.  My Gabriella and Michael.  The 2 pearls of my life.  How can I tell them?  What will I tell them?  MY FIANCE.  Travis. What will he think? Will he think I didn’t sign up for this? MY PARENTS They are traveling in Europe.  I can’t tell them yet. They need to find out when they get back.  How will I tell them? How will they react?  MY SISTERS They won’t believe it.  It won’t make sense.  What does it mean for them?  This cancer has not only planted its toxic cells in me but in some ways it has planted itself in all of the people I love and that love me.

Advertisements

About cancerchica

I am a mother of 2 kids, Gabriella 10 and Michael 8. I teach second grade. I am engaged to Travis whom also has 2 kids; Connor and Spencer. President of the Junior League of Ann Arbor Diagnosed with Breast Cancer on September 18, 2012 Tumor 1.3 cm ER+ & PR +, Her2+ Stage 1c Lumpectomy on October 17th, 2012 Lymph nodes - and margins clear TCH chemotherapy regimen began on Nov. 18th, 2012 Head shaving party on November 19, 2012

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s