I walk into work like a zombie. As if I am walking through a cloud. There are moments when I am working with the kids in my class and I forget. They ask me if I’m sick. I don’t even know how to answer. Then I remember no I’m not sick. In fact I never get sick. But now I have cancer. I called the medical benefits office; need to find out about the FMLA act. Paperwork, insurance legalities. Stuff I just don’t want to think about right now.
Tomorrow is Gabriella’s bday. Needs 50 cupcakes for her class. Plus cupcakes for her bday party. Plus my 10 bday cake.
Baking is therapeutic.
I’m not sleeping well. I fall asleep right away and then wake up in the middle of the night and all I can think about is cancer. It seems like every minute that’s all I think about.