Why me? That’s a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. I keep thinking how it doesn’t make sense. I finally get to a place that is peaceful and serene and boom–The C Bomb is dropped in my lap. As if God was like “Well, Monica your great at handling challenges so here is another one for you”. I’m not mad at God and I don’t blame him but I just don’t get it. I walk around and look at other people who don’t eat as healthy as I do, who don’t work out as much as I do and I think how do they not have cancer??? This thought has invaded my every thought–I can’t be out in public and not look at every single person and not think it.
How do you life a healthy lifestyle for so long to avoid exactly these types of diseases and then get slapped in the face with it? It’s as if this cancer is mocking me and all of the healthy choices I have made. I hate you cancer!!!!! There I said it. I hate you and everything you are going to do to me–what you are going do to my body, my hair, my breast, my skin….I hate you for what you are going to do my kids, my family, my friends. I really hate you.