T-374 days-November 8, 2012- Kids visit to the Cancer Center


Some say it’s a weakness, some say it’s a strength…..my ability to be concerned about everyone else before myself; particularly my kids.  I have been hyper-focused on their adjustment to my new “condition”.  Condition?  I don’t like using the word disease, too scary; cancer, too final.  This condition that would change me, my life, their lives….at least for a time being, maybe forever. So far I have emailed their teachers, their coaches, their dad and anyone that is a part of their circle and can support them.  Trying to think of every way possible to put their minds at ease.

FEAR-comes from not knowing.  Not knowing what to expect, not knowing what is coming next.  I decided to take away as many of the unknowns as possible for my kids.  My first chemotherapy infusion was pending and I wanted them to know everything so the fear was gone.  My amazing Nurse Angel Karen set everything up for us.


We arrived at the Cancer Center, the smiling face of Karen greeted us at the door.  We entered the room that I sat in for hours on my Cancer 101 day.  It was surreal to be there again, this time with my kids.  Remembering that room where I sat with doctor after doctor filing in and tears streaming down my face.  In contrast, my kids were now giggling practicing with the stethoscope and thermometers.  We continued our tour of the cancer center which led us to the Infusion Room.  I’m not sure what I expected,  I was surprised to see an oval room filled with recliners and tables.  A recliner that I would be sitting in while chemotherapy drugs dripped through my veins.  My kids looked all around with their big wide eyes wondering and looking at everything.  Gabriella had many questions; she wanted to know what the bags looked like, she wanted to know what color the fluid would be in the bag, how they would be put it in. As each question was answered I could see their anxieties lessen, their fears wither away. They walked away with smiles and laughs  Whoever thought a cancer center tour could rival a night at the movies?


6 responses »

  1. My daughter, who was 13 when I was diagnosed, has insisted on knowing everything, Anytime she was not in school when I had chemo or doctors appointments she has been there. Her dad is engaged to a nurse and any questions she forgets to ask, she does ask her. I think it is better for them to be a part of the process as it becomes such a huge part of our lives!

    • I completely agree with you! I was a bit more hesitant with how much to share since my kids are 8 and 10 but I have found the more I share the less scared they truly are. Thank you for reading!

  2. Taking them in for a tour was a wonderful idea! It may seem intimidating at first but like you said fear lies in the unknown. Now they have a visual that can reassure them of where you are and they know you’ll be ok. Great idea!

  3. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like
    you wrote the book in it or something. I think
    that you can do with some pics to drive the message
    home a bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog. A great read.

    I will certainly be back.

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