Some say it’s a weakness, some say it’s a strength…..my ability to be concerned about everyone else before myself; particularly my kids. I have been hyper-focused on their adjustment to my new “condition”. Condition? I don’t like using the word disease, too scary; cancer, too final. This condition that would change me, my life, their lives….at least for a time being, maybe forever. So far I have emailed their teachers, their coaches, their dad and anyone that is a part of their circle and can support them. Trying to think of every way possible to put their minds at ease.
FEAR-comes from not knowing. Not knowing what to expect, not knowing what is coming next. I decided to take away as many of the unknowns as possible for my kids. My first chemotherapy infusion was pending and I wanted them to know everything so the fear was gone. My amazing Nurse Angel Karen set everything up for us.
We arrived at the Cancer Center, the smiling face of Karen greeted us at the door. We entered the room that I sat in for hours on my Cancer 101 day. It was surreal to be there again, this time with my kids. Remembering that room where I sat with doctor after doctor filing in and tears streaming down my face. In contrast, my kids were now giggling practicing with the stethoscope and thermometers. We continued our tour of the cancer center which led us to the Infusion Room. I’m not sure what I expected, I was surprised to see an oval room filled with recliners and tables. A recliner that I would be sitting in while chemotherapy drugs dripped through my veins. My kids looked all around with their big wide eyes wondering and looking at everything. Gabriella had many questions; she wanted to know what the bags looked like, she wanted to know what color the fluid would be in the bag, how they would be put it in. As each question was answered I could see their anxieties lessen, their fears wither away. They walked away with smiles and laughs Whoever thought a cancer center tour could rival a night at the movies?
- US Scientists Find That Chemotherapy Boosts Cancer Growth (wakingtimes.com)