Who am I?–A Cancer Poem

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Who am I now?

Where did I go?

Cancer arrived and like a strong wind blew me away, parts of me scattered

Uninvited and unwelcome

Pieces thrown about

Hair in hibernation

Who is that in the reflection?

An unrecognizable shell

A flicker of who I once was I see in a photo

Scattered mind   A flicker of who I once was I see in a photo

I already said that?  Right, I forgot….scattered mind

Achy bones, creek and ache.   Bones that once ran, leaped and jumped.

Body like a jar of molasses, slow and thick yearning for her spry, limber flexibility

Tingly fingers and upset stomach that  waltz harmoniously

Broken drippy faucet of tears; drip, drip, drip

38 going on 55

Pop, pop, pop, goes every pill in my mouth

Heavy lids, heavy steps pace the day a step ahead of the exhaustion that will befall

Tired, so tired

Where did I go?  I miss her, I call for her, I cry for her,

When will she come back?  Will she ever come back? Did Cancer take her forever?

I want me

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About cancerchica

I am a mother of 2 kids, Gabriella 10 and Michael 8. I teach second grade. I am engaged to Travis whom also has 2 kids; Connor and Spencer. President of the Junior League of Ann Arbor Diagnosed with Breast Cancer on September 18, 2012 Tumor 1.3 cm ER+ & PR +, Her2+ Stage 1c Lumpectomy on October 17th, 2012 Lymph nodes - and margins clear TCH chemotherapy regimen began on Nov. 18th, 2012 Head shaving party on November 19, 2012

2 responses »

  1. You are still here, I hear the same girl everyday on the phone. When all of this is through, you will be a better version of yourself. You will look in the mirror and be so proud of your reflection.

    I love you!

    -Alethea 🙂

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