The day had finally arrived!! My very last chemo treatment. My sister Alethea flew in for the occasion. My friends Kevin and nurse angel Karen stopped by. My parents and my Aunt Celeste and Dave. It was definitely a party. Definitely a reason to celebrate!!
I had so many people that everyone had to take turns to sit with me and visit. Later we went to eat at my favorite restaraunt Pacific Rim.
What a relief to know I was done!! That said, the after effects of the chemo were the worst with this treatment then any other. The accumulative affect often causes this and makes the last treatment the toughest. I am so blessed to have so many people in my who are my angels and have carried me through this journey of chemo. Most importantly my Travis who took three days off of work for every one of my infusions. He sat by my side, held my hand and wiped my tears every time we had to walk into the cancer center on my Friday infusions. He then cared for me on Mondays and Tuesdays when I was knocked out, felt sick and weak and was in pain. I don’t know how I would have made it without him and his love.
The holidays have always been a joyful time of year filled with cookie baking, presents and Christmas tree chopping. This holiday I found myself experiencing everything on another sensory level. Cancer has backed me into a corner where I am constantly thinking of the fragility of life and has made me take in every little smell, touch and feel. Awesome pros to chemo:
1. No leg shaving. My legs look great with no work and no shaving nicks
2. No armpit shaving
3. Save money on haircuts
3 days after Christmas I had to get my 3rd chemo treatment. My kids were with me but fortunately my parents are local and they were able to stay with them. They visited me for the first time which was an amazing gift. Nurses continued to monitor me closely because of the recent reaction to carboplatin. Cytoxin seemed to give me no issues and thankfully the infusion went smoothly.
New Year’s Eve was when everything hit me. The effect of chemo is beginning to become more and more difficult. The inside of my mouth is raw, I am physically exhausted, my bones feel like someone is hitting them with a hammer. My scalp hurts to even touch a pillow. Travis and I have been watching the entire trilogy of Lord of the Rings. I have never laid around and watched so much tv in my entire life.
Sometimes I think the good lord knew my life was too fast paced, too stressful, too toxic and that this was the only way
he could force me to stop, sit back and take time to reassess.
Even though I knew it was going to happen, I shaved my head in preparation for it…I was still an emotional ball when my hair started to fall out. There is something about losing a part of your body with no prediction of when it will happen that is very unnerving. I knew it when I woke up and I had hair on my pillow. Just sitting there in a pile like a birds nest. Then I took a shower and it started falling out even more. I cried and cried and again was angry at how terrible cancer is. With my hair already being so short it wasn’t dramatic clumps of hair falling out. Regardless, going from a little buzz cut to no hair at all is a psychological mind f$&! I quickly became tired of little hairs all over my clothes, my towels etc. so my husband Travis buzzed it down to my scalp. Bald beauty has arrived!